Turette’s guide to not-so-great Britain

(best read with a Lancashire accent in your head)

Fucking bank holiday Bastard weather
Fucking queues on the M6, M1, M18
Fucking queues at Asda
Fucking BOGOFs
Fucking bored ASBO kids
Fucking overpriced meals out
Fucking overrated meals in
Fucking overpaid footballers
Fucking dogshitty fields
Fucking crappo telly
Fucking drunken yobs
Fucking fat fuckers
Fucking great!

I Am The Lady in Red

I am the lady in red
Words curl around my head
Vermillion, crimson and scarlett am I
The colour of life, the colour of death
The colour of blood

Strawberry sweet, succulent and cherry fed
On a hospital bed legs spread
Glistening and ruby jewelled
Sliced, splayed pomegranite
Too much unspoken, left unsaid

She is Puck

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding, but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend;
If you pardon, we will mend.
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearnéd luck,
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
We will make amends ere long:
Else the Puck a liar call.
So good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.

Explosive!

The icy teutonic cruelty of Hans Landa, the glamour and glory of Bridget Von, the determined chutzpah of Shoshanna, the insouciant swagger of Aldo.... Quentin baby - you've just blown me away and I just love Catpeople!


Putting out the fire with gasoline

See these eyes so blue
I can stare for a thousand years
Colder than the moon
It's been so long
And I've been putting out fire
With gasoline

Feel my blood enraged
It's just the fear of losing you
Don't you know my name
Well, you been so long

See these eyes so red
Red like jungle burning bright
Those who feel me near
Pull the blinds and change their minds
It's been so long

Still this pulsing night
A plague I call a heartbeat
Just be still with me
Ya wouldn't believe what I've been thru
You've been so long
Well it's been so long
And I've been putting out fire
with gasoline
putting out fire
with gasoline

See these tears so blue
An ageless heart
that can never mend
These tears can never dry
A judgement made
can never bend
See these eyes so blue
I can stare for a thousand years
Just be still with me
You wouldn't believe what I've been thru

You've been so long
Well, it's been so long
And I've been putting out fire
with gasoline
putting out fire with gasoline

The Hurt Locker

Hurt was banged away for being far too troublesome
And the door to the Locker was turned firm
It sat in the dark and wondered a while
Then it screamed and kicked against hard reinforced metal
“Let me out! Let me out!” It yelled and thrashed
And it hollered and screeched some more
In what seemed an eternity of isolated frenzied panic
Until it was bleeding red, bruised blue and all burnt out
The Locker was dank and fetid with sweat
Hurt quivered in pain, broken in that Locker
While outside the Voice breathed slowly
And listened deep in the dark.

loving lisbon

Knew that photo of the question marks would come in useful and be deep and meaningful.

Elvis Lives

Ah ha-ha...Ah ha-ha...Elvis is alive and well and looking over my shoulder! The spookiness of Nailcote Hall and its entertainers.

Sin Nombre

A film of immense standing with a strong plotline and insight into gang culture - darkly mesmeric in its realism. A must-see for lovers of latin american cinema.

http://thecitylovesyou.com/cinerex/?p=1469

Doggone!

The pug inappropriately named Dylan is leaving today and we'll all so miss him! He should be called Ming - a far more dignified name for a dog of his standing. Anyway he charmed us with his big buggy eyes and his squashed good looks and we all fell in love with him. Please get one Lou!

Wowza!

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined I'd meet the amazing Mariza - fadista extraordinaire - in a club in Lisbon. But I did - and she sang for me too. Thank you so much lovely lady and may more people experience the seismic power of your voice. x