You're a hero!

In these days of ‘greed is good’ and the cult of ‘me’, it’s good to see a selfless act of bravery and kindness. I want to give it up for Robert Mansell, a British pilot who died while saving his nine passengers by ditching his plane into the Caribbean sea.

Robert aged 32 from Knowle, West Mids, was flying between the south Caribbean islands of Curacao and Bonaire on Wednesday when he crashed. All nine passengers escaped the sinking plane, but Robert’s body is missing. The tragedy is, he was only five minutes short of the destination when he was forced to ditch the twin-engine plane into the sea.

Right before crashing, he looked back at the passengers to confirm they had their life vests on and did a 'thumbs-up' to indicate that they were going to land. And he kept cool and calm at all moments during the flight.

All the passengers survived, escaping the sinking aircraft, but he was still strapped into his seat as it disappeared into 159m deep waters. One passenger said he tried to unstrap Robert, who was knocked unconscious by the impact of the crash, but was forced to leave him as the aircraft sank.

He worked for Divi Divi Air (strange choice of name) and the crash happened after the right engine of the plane failed, and Capt Mansell made a mayday call before ditching.

Forget overpaid footballers, rock star wannabees and morally challenged politicians, RIP Robert Mansell, you’re a true hero!

Batty bombers!

Following on from my blog on the naked scanners, according to the source of all banter and bitchery, Popbitch, Al-Qaeda suicide bombers are not only keeping their explosives where the sun don’t shine, they're hiding them from the authorities using David Copperfield style illusion tricks. US intelligence authorities are claiming that would-be terrorists are being sent out to learn magic tricks to help them get their bombs through security checks. Hollowed out coins and fake fingertips could, they say, be used to hide smears of plastic explosives. Not to mention the traditional magician's sleight of hand techniques to help the would-be bomber get past staff at security checkpoints.

I did further anal-ysis on the batty bit and found that one suicide bomber had already detonated his bum bomb. (no this is not a euphemism!) Abdullah Hassan Al Aseery was a Saudi Arabian member of Al-Qaeda, named on a Saudi list of most wanted terrorist suspects on February 3 2009. He set up a meeting with the Saudi head of anti-terrorist security, Prince Muhammad bin Nayef bin Abdul Aziz Al-Saud, under the premise of wanting to leave Al-Qaeda and supply vital information about the group to authorities. But really he was packing semtex in his arse and he and his deadly package got through two sets of airport security and 30 hours of questioning. The bomb was detonated by text message when he was standing next to the Prince, but the plan backfired because the Prince was only slightly injured, whereas Al Aseery was totalled! And he must have made an awful mess! On a serious note though, this is spectacularly scary and one very good reason why naked scanners make sense!

Griffler!

Nick Griffin rode into Question Time on his white charger flying the flag for the BNP, the indigenous people of Great Britain and St George. But he slithered out with the standard of his ideology in tatters.

Oh dear poor Nick! I’m sure he didn’t bank on the strength of anti feeling. But rather than redeem himself and his party as I'm sure he'd set out to do, and cast off the dirty rags of the BNP’s anti-semitic, racist past – he was outsmarted by a panel who were by far his intellectual superiors and he just confirmed many decent rational thinking peoples' views that the party’s dirty hate-peddling politics are rotten to the core.

It was flagged up that he’d rubbed shoulders with members of the KKK. In fact, he’d mixed it with former KKK chief and American Nazi Party thug, Stephen "Don" Black at racist conferences in the US. Actually it’s quite amusing that his surname is Black! Anyway, the former KKK Grand Black Wizard happens to be banned from coming to the UK because he was once jailed for trying to invade the Caribbean island of Dominica with mercenaries. But despite Black's criminal past, Griffin was happy to be pictured alongside him and Grand Master Flash, David Duke. When asked about this the party line was: "We shared a platform with these people, but it doesn't mean we share their beliefs. In fact, we were arguing for a sensible nationalism." OK Nick, so on Youtube you were filmed telling the KKK massive about your new strategy of couching racial purity in terms of national identity and taking control of the media to expound your racist views…so how does that amount to ‘sensible nationalism?’



When asked about his previous stance on Holocaust denial, Griffin backtracked and said he didn’t know why he’d adopted that view and in fact transcripts from German radio intercepts had changed his mind – recently…not the weight of evidence from Holocaust survivors – apparently! Nick might feign amnesia about published a booklet in 1997 entitled "Who are the Mind Benders?". It claimed to prove that Jewish people controlled the British media and thereby were able to brainwash white British people into accepting multiculturalism. And between 1995 and 1997, Nick Griffin edited 'The Rune'. Griffin referred to the Holocaust as a "Holohoax". In 1998, he said, "I am well aware that the orthodox opinion is that 6 million Jews were gassed and cremated and turned into lampshades. Orthodox opinion also once held that the Earth was flat...(he loves that analogy), I have reached the conclusion that the "extermination" tale is a mixture of Allied wartime propaganda, extremely profitable lie, and latter witch-hysteria."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7Dygboz4Ew

Nick also disagrees with sex education in primary schools and shows of gay affection in public. In 1999, he wrote an article for Spearhead after the Admiral Duncan pub bombing. He said, "The TV footage of dozens of gay demonstrators flaunting their perversions in front of the world's journalists showed just why so many ordinary people find these creatures so repulsive."

Perhaps the finest moment was when a British Asian man was clapped when he accused Griffin of wanting to hound him out of Britain. "You'd be surprised how many people would have a whip-round to buy you a ticket and your supporters to go to the South Pole. It is a colourless landscape that will suit you fine."

Enough said!

Stand by yo man!

I can’t believe that in the light of revelations of Dr Abortion (Edward Erin) – his wife, Lowri Erin, is standing by him and even went as far as to say they love each other. So the fact that he had three previous mistresses and probably more and the indignity of having the lurid details of his infidelities read out in court hasn’t dimmed her ‘love’ for him. Plus he didn’t even tell his closest colleagues that he was married surely says that lurve wasn’t an emotion Dr Erin was feeling. Lust maybe…a need to massage his inflated ego – definitely!

Oh and when the guilty verdict was read out, Bella Prowse (the girlfriend) broke down and sobbed, whereas Erin showed no emotion whatsoever. That says it all…She (Lowri) has to be slightly deranged to even consider loving a man capable of spiking his girlfriend’s tea with abortion drugs. Her stoic standing by him almost smacks of concurrence.

Ah but possibly-maybe the reason she still has a warped kind of love for him is the fact she gave up a promising career to have children and has lost her identity and self respect. Or the fact they have shared business interests — they own up to 30 buy-to-let houses — and shared a flat in Kensington, west London...Guess that must be the reason, especially if he's the major shareholder.

I thought love was a pure emotion based on trust and mutual respect, not tainted by commercial interests, but maybe I’m just a romantic. Either way, Erin is going down probably for life and has been struck off – never to practice medicine again, and whilst he’s doing time she can start to rebuild her life…so why the hell doesn’t she walk away with her head held high and at least retain a modicum of self respect?

Monkey business!

Thought this was rather funny. Michael Jackson left his pet chimpanzee £1m to ensure his long-term future, but Bubbles still hasn’t got his hairy simian hands on the readies.

Jackson adopted the chimp in 1985 but later gave him to animal trainer Bob Dunne after struggling to care for him. Dunne claims Jackson left Bubbles the money. "Michael will turn in his grave if Bubbles' future is not financially secure," he claims. "We've heard nothing. I'm not sure we will either. He's [Bubbles] frozen out.”

He may have been “frozen out”, but like many a celeb down on his luck, he’s selling his story to make a buck or two. Bubbles: My Secret Diary, From Swaziland to Neverland is a collection of very personal and honest entries from Bubbles' diary giving readers the whole story of the chimp's life from an "awful childhood" in a research clinic, and "adopted a struggling young singer". It takes a leaf out of arch rival and Tarzan star, Cheeta’s book – Me Cheeta!

The memoirs will look at the seedier side of Bubbles' career, including his $2,000-a-day banana addiction, depression, romantic conquests, and includes how Bubbles dealt with the recent death of the King of Pop.

Apparently Bubbles is now 26-years-old and living in the animal sanctuary where he was taken in 2003 after becoming too aggressive to live alongside Jackson's baby son Prince Michael II. He lived at Jackson's Neverland ranch and sat in on recordings for the Bad album, even travelling to Japan with the singer on tour. He was not invited to Jackson's funeral over fears he would be too violent. Poor Bubbles - he should take legal action for mental cruelty caused by come down in lifestyle.

The book’s out sometime this month! Top banana!

Scallop

In a reflective mood and woke up this morning to hear an interview with artist Maggi Hambling on Aldeburgh beach against a backdrop of crashing waves. Incredibly, she rises at the crack of dawn every morning to go to the beach and paint the ever changing seascape. How wonderful would that be! I was intrigued by her beach sculpture 'Scallop' and amazed that it's such a cause of controversy. How could something so beautiful possibly be offensive?

She has an exhibition with CS Lowry, who towards the end of his life used the sea as subject matter for his paintings. I find Lowry's matchstick men, cats and dogs a touch twee. But his sea paintings are full of passion and forboding with a deep, dark flat sea - and bold, broad brush strokes similar to Munch – in complete contrast to Maggi's tumbling, crashing wavescapes. I got to thinking that it must be wonderful to live by the sea - swimming in its seductive calmness in the summer and in total awe of its power in winter. We so need people like Maggi to remind us of nature's spectacular beauty.

The naked truth

Just when you thought Cameronomics would dominate the press, there's a whole big hoo-ha about naked scanners being launched at Manchester airport. I'm turning the other cheek, because I think they make great sense if they cut queues and the need to be frisked by big butch security staff ( surely this is a far worse intrusive on privacy? ). But there are lots of objectors saying, "how very dare you!"

Well how very Victorian that people would object to it! Especially as it ups the security ante so that terrorists/ smugglers won't be able to tape anything to their bare bodies. The upshot being we can all sit comfortably reading our in-flight mags knowing we're not going to be blown up by semtex or hydrogen peroxide strapped to someone's scrotum.

Not surprisingly, islamonline.net is up in arms because of an infringement of their human rights. Get real people, why should we have one rule for muslims and another for non-muslims when we're all on one plane together and the extra security benefits everyone regardless of their meat and two veg or whether they dress to the left or right!

Would the real David Cameron please stand up!

On my soapbox again, I'm afraid, as the Conservative's reveal their manifesto. And I've unearthed the fact that 'Call Me Dave' Cameron has true blue blood. Here he is next to his ancestor, King William IV – also known as ‘Silly Billy’ – who twice tried unsuccessfully to force a Tory government on the country, in 1832 and again in 1834/35.

Dave can pretend to be Mr Ordinary all he likes, but there’s no getting away from it, he’s a toff in the traditional sense of the term because of his privileged background. Trying to shrug off the image is pointless. It’s precisely because Cameron, Osborne and many other Tories have this privileged, upper-class experience of life – and an obvious vested interest in preserving it – that their claim to have the welfare of Joe Public at heart is so unconvincing.

Why would the Tories be so sensitive about the ‘toff’ thing if they weren’t desperately embarrassed about it in electoral terms? They know it will lose them the votes of those who just can’t identify with their upper-class values, so they – and Dave – are trying to kid us that he’s one of us really. That – in their own words – they’re not the ‘nasty party’ any more. Trying to kid us that what Conservatives are interested in is mending our ‘broken society’. Right…

They will desperately want us to forget – of course – that it was the many years of Tory government and sleaze in the 1970s, 80s and 90s, which promoted the philosophy of greed and fat profits at the expense of ordinary working people. This allowed and encouraged the rise of fat-cat bankers and financial chancers who have finally wrecked our economy and made many thousands unemployed.

The Tories are wholly responsible for widening the vast gap between the rich and the rest of us, laying the foundations for today’s society where young people can’t afford to buy a home any more and where there is nowhere near enough social housing to meet the needs of ordinary British citizens. And yet they now have the gall to blame the Labour government for all this.

Granted, Labour were stupid enough to get sucked in by pandering to the greedy, just to get elected in 1997 and to stay in office, but they weren’t responsible for the philosophy that created these conditions. It still tries vainly to ’square the circle’ of creating social equality while placating the better-off middle classes who are only interested in tax cuts and big bonuses at the expense of the rest of us. But that’s another issue.

The reality of a Tory government is one where the rich and privileged look after their own.
 If they manage to fool enough of us to get elected to office, then we’ll see them revert to type: serving the interests of the rich and powerful, of the big businesses and of their fat-cat political sponsors, while paying lip service to helping ordinary working people.

Consider the way Cameron’s fellow Eton toff, Boris Johnson, is now handing out planning permissions left right and centre to a host of faulty towers in London that won’t do anything to improve the lives of Londoners and which will vulgarise the London skyline. And he was the one to pillory Ken for it! 
(Oooh wonder if any of his supporters, sponsors and cronies are involved in property development? We probably know the answer to that one…)

Boris has total contempt for the democratic process and treats the Mayor’s question time meeting like a public school debating society. He waffles and blunders his way through it all, while those he no doubt sees as his social inferiors try to pin him down on anything without success. It’s all a great joke to him, but a frustrating and sickening sight and a good indication of how his privileged kind behave towards the rest of us. Today’s interview with Paxman on the BBC website also highlight his arrogance and inability to answer questions.

It’s an unfortunate fact of life that people have short memories and there are many people of voting age now who have only ever seen this newly-concocted, almost vomit-inducing Tory sincerity, so they know no better. Everyone over the age of 35 knows the truth about Tory fat-cat priorities, their contempt for workers, trades unions and the millions of ordinary people like us who serve only to line the pockets of them and their cronies.

Once a toff, always a toff – and forever a fat-cat Tory – however they dress themselves up or use a nice green tree as a party logo. For god's sake don't be taken in by them or you'll lose tax credits, quality of life and so much more!

What's the Tory morning glory!

Let the slanging match begin! Just when the tory-lites thought they’d dealt a heavy blow to Labour by getting the might of murky Murdoch, his grubby little paper and the page 3 stunna to announce ‘Labour’s Lost It’, along came the Irish vote on the Lisbon Treaty – and more – to bite them on the bum!

This week sees the Tory’s annual conference in Manchester. And dodgy Dave’s invited two far right eurosceptic allies along. Michal Kaminski is the Polish rightwing leader of the Conservatives’ new caucus in the Euro parliament. It seems old Kammy has an anti-Semitic, neo-nazi past. Ally number two is Roberts Zile, (rhymes with vile) leader of Latvia’s right wing For Fatherland and Freedom Party. There’s a clue in the title. Und jah, every year zey don jackboots to celebrate ze Latvian Waffen SS with a march past of SS veterans. A fact confirmed by Ephraim Zuroff director of the Simon Wiesenthal Centre, which tracks down Nazi War criminals.

Maybe ‘Dave Mr Ordinary Nice Guy’ is not so fragrant after all. He expelled Edward McMillan Scott – veteran Yorkshire Tory MEP from the party for raising questions about his new best friends’ right wing extremism and antisemitism. And by courting their friendship, he’s earned the enmity of heavyweight euro figures – most notable Angela Merkel. Not a smart move! Oh and let’s not forget Dave’s schtum stance on his membership of the infamous Bullingdon Club – a misogynistic Oxford club of raucous rituals for yobbish toffs AND his denial that he’s worth £30m. Does that add up to a leader you’d trust to run the country? I think not! To Joe Public, it may seem that politicians are all the same on the surface, but look deeper into the company they keep and they’re clearly not.

Inspiration!

Fuzzy wuzzy but still looking for great ad ideas. These hit the sweet spot!